I'm here in New Mexico for a personal retreat and wow what a beautiful place. The first night I was here was a new moon and I could barely sleep which is a semi-normal thing for me as my guidance has messages to get through me for full and new moons. What came up was a huge, huge amount of anger, rage and sadness for the injustice done to me and in the world.
Here's what I got. As humans there are injustices we see, feel and experience in our lives. We can hardly live without coming up against things that feel as though they break our hearts and all we want to do is change that injustice right now. Hasn't it been like this long enough? Surely the world is ready for this change?
In a guided coaching session into my heart space I looked around and saw 3 distinct places. The first place was off to the left. I saw thick dark fog which I couldn’t see all the way through but I had the sense that the space was huge behind the fog. Expansive somehow but also dark and mysterious, yet not at all frightening at all. When I felt into this space, I felt it as a representation of the the great mystery of life.
As life gets busier it gets even more important to prioritize our self care. Self care includes nature, intimacy, connections, time for friends & family, healthcare routines, social time and whatever els nourishes you as an individual.
About a year ago I had an experience that shaped my integrity about the way I do business. I signed up for a coaching program that I believed would be the answers to my prayers in helping me to start and run my new business. What it turned out teaching me was very different then I thought. It started when a friend told me about a woman who had been coaching her. She sent me texts, emails and many reminders to invite me to work with this woman. Finally I took a look and decided I would go to her retreat.
Putting all our eggs in one basket. It's an analogy I'm sitting with tonight as I contimplate grief, loss and death. I'm the grand daughter of 3 grandfathers whom either by accident or intentionally killed themselves. One when he lost his job another when he lost his family and the other had pretty much lost everything.
There are many differences my husband and I face having different cultural backgrounds. Recently at a family function with my him in India I was asked in a large group of people that age old question,” What do you do?”
For some reason I all the sudden felt so uncomfortable and could barely speak. I'm a life coach I said, they didn't understand. Coaching what, she asked. Intuition is my specialty, I said. I coach people on listening to their intuition. The crowd was silent no one making eye contact and surely not looking at me. My god that's never been so difficult in my life.
"Is the resistance I feel in my partner a resistance in me?" This is the question I'm guided to today during my regular daily feelings practice. If you are new to my blogs, a feeling practice is where you sit with a place in you body and deeply connect to give space for any unresolved feelings to come up. Then you meet those feeling with compassion and understanding. So, today I feel an overwhelming sense of resistance in my body. Feeling it, I feel my resistance to my partner's resistance to me when I come in to be close with him.
Each day I sit with the sensations in my body, whether it is for 5 minutes or over an hour, and feel deeply into them. As I feel into them, I feel unresolved stored emotions. Sometimes it is from an experience I just had with my partner, sometimes it's very old sadness from my inner child that doesn't feel safe or feels scared, and sometimes it's just about an issue that still feels unresolved to me.
Today I woke up with pain all throughout my body. Not again! I think. I was certain that I was done with this lesson. Obviously, I'm not… As I sit with this pain and feel into it, I begin to tune into some negative thoughts, feelings and emotions. Then I again remember what chronic pain has taught me: to allow the negative thoughts, feelings and emotions to come up, to give them space to be heard and felt, and to allow them to move through me.