Be a contribution
I tried so many career paths and thought many different times that I knew what I was going to be the rest of my life. For whatever reason, early on, I had the belief that I needed to find my place in the world by knowing what to say when people asked me, “What do you do?” I needed to have an answer, and a good one too.
I needed to have an answer that said I knew what I was doing and if people liked what I do, even better. I cared so much what other people thought and what they wanted for me. I even took on suggestions for careers from well-meaning loved ones. I would meet someone and think: "Oh, they have their shit together. What do they do? Maybe I can do that." In the last 5 years, these beliefs have been shedding. As they get released, I have started to see what natural gifts I have always had, what I've learned from my experiences and what I feel totally exhilarated to contribute.
In this process I've also learned that it takes time for us to come to the deeper knowing of why we're here. Sometimes our gifts are still unfolding or they need help to be uncovered. There are many reasons why we pick careers that don't fit us. Sometimes it feels safe, it's consistent income or we simply just make such good money that we don't want to let that go.
There is no judgment here in our choosing. I understand what it is like to compromise. To go with what feels comfortable or familiar. I've been doing this, in a lot of ways. It is scary to be who we truly are because we have unbelievable power to change and do good - not just to reach our financial goals, make lots of money to buy nice things etc. But our work can be a contribution to the world for healing and hope for all beings and we can have a total blast doing it, when it's aligned with our soul. In our capable hands, we have all the answers to this life's problems. All we have to do is open up to our potential and giftedness inside us.
As the world around us starts to crumble, businesses will be closing and the market will be fluctuating. As it does, hopefully we will start to see the preciousness of life, of time and the uselessness of money, unless we share it. We will possibly see how much we need each other and how each of us is responsible for the wellness of the whole. Maybe we will see what we've lost and try to gain something from that loss. Maybe there will be all kinds of gifts that come out of this time. As we grieve and release what is old, broken down and no longer serves us, we can open to something new.
Perhaps it's a new love for something forgotten, like your art maybe, or nature. Maybe it's knowing the preciousness of being able to see each other and be together. Perhaps this will make us more grateful for the small things we have and make connections with others more of a priority. Whatever this time has done for you, I hope you have taken time to really be with your heart, to listen to its calling and do some of the things it wants for you.
I venture to say that something is calling to all of us here from this experience of the virus, something that wants us to awaken us to who we really are and why we are here. We can ignore it and shove those feelings back deep inside once its over but I beg you please not to. What is there really to lose? A job or career path that has caused your heart to be in conflict with who you really are? That is how it was for me. I constantly felt my gifts calling me from the inside waiting to come out, wanting me to play a bigger game. "Come play with me," they'd say. "I want to ignite you, to open you, to support you in remembering the joy you had as a child doing what you loved."
For me, finally, those voices got too loud to ignore. I listened and you wouldn’t believe what happened. I collaborated with an artist and wrote a comic book, I envisioned a way to be of service and I came into a deeper giftedness in myself, more than I had ever known.
Yes it was a risk, and there were/are challenges. Sometimes I cry and say, "I can’t do this because it’s too big." But I pick myself up with the support of a loved one and I keep writing, dreaming and opening to the giftedness inside me that is still unfolding.
Here's something to inspire you
See there's beauty in being me.
Once you see it's not about being he or she.
There is peace in knowing I am unique and so is she.
There's no need trying to hide it see.
Cause there is beauty inside of me.
Inside of my heart and inside of yours there is a uniqueness.
We have grown being told to become this or that,
Maybe we did, there's nothing wrong with that.
My hope starts here and grows in my heart,
Reaching out to all those who aren't,
At least living the life they want or choose,
I'm here with you, breaking out, breaking loose.
Behind the closed door and peeking through,
Hoping and wishing for all of you,
That love finds its way to your heart,
It opens and some ideas spark,
That make us think, make us act, make us say,
Is this me? Am I happy?
Is this who..or what I want to be?
Can I decide to change my beat?
Or is this who I am,
what you wanted me to be?
Blessings,
Laura Doctor
